MUST BE THIS TALL TO WEAR THIS OUTFIT

DRESS FOR YOUR HEIGHT, GIRLS! This entry is not meant to offend or discriminate, merely to advise. I want us all to look our best, darlings!

Sorry, short girls, you are so adorable, but you can’t wear this:

- bracelet length coats or three quarter sleeves
- drop-waist dresses
- cropped pants
- skirts that fall just below the knee (tea length really doesn’t flatter anyone, to be honest)

Tall girls don’t catch all the breaks here. Here’s where height and fashion do not go hand in hand: If you are 5’9” or taller, I beg of you not to wear hidden platforms or five inch heels. Here’s why: though you will look absolutely stunning as you admire yourself in your full-length mirror at home, alone, you will look like a drag queen out in public. I call this the Tyra Banks Effect (photo at right courtesy msnbcmedia). Yes, Miss Tyra appears feminine and gorgeous on the runway or the pages of a glossy magazine, but stand her up next to any normal-size person and she looks like Goliath! It is sad but true that I finally had to part with my incredibly chic Miu Miu black and gold platforms when I realized that I did not look as cute as Lindsay Lohan did in the ad campaign. Tragically, when I added that 135 mm of Prada deliciousness to my nearly six feet, I appeared (even to my dear sister, who is also statuesque) giant. Tall girls always run the risk of being termed Amazonian--never a compliment, I assure you!--when they augment their already considerable height with stripper shoes.

So girls, as you should with all wardrobe decisions: know yourself and your body type, and work with it in order to WORK IT! I mean, we want to look FIERCE, not "tranny nightmare" or "mini-me".